Reading recent news stories, a person could think I’m crazy when I praise drivers in Australia for being generally law-abiding and courteous.
In The Australian for Monday there’s a report of two cars that police clocked driving just over the 100kph (62 mph) speed limit near a town called Gatton, west of Brisbane. Not unusual, of course, except that the second car was maintaining a steady distance from the one in front, a distance of three to four meters.
As my brother Ronald would be quick to point out, those cars were moving at a rate of about 28 meters (or 91 feet) per second, so the second car was not even one eye blink behind the first.
The driver, 31, claimed he was “slipstreaming” to save petrol. Maybe he’d spent his last dime on beer. He was charged with “drink-driving.”
That’s the term for it here in Australia. Not “drunk driving” or “driving while under the influence,” but drink-driving.
Also west of Brisbane one night last year (I’m beginning to wonder about driving west of Brisbane), police found a 37-year-old woman sitting in her car in the middle of a highway with no lights on.
Technically, she could argue she wasn’t driving, I suppose, but she could hardly contest her blood alcohol level. At 0.379, she was eight times over the limit. Standing without help was a problem for her.
But it’s not just the youngsters in their 30s who astound police and the general public. ABC (that’s Australian Broadcasting Corporation) just reported on-line that a man in Victoria is the country’s oldest hoon.
“Hoon” means “show-off,” but the press seems to reserve it for bad actors in cars, speeding or otherwise driving dangerously on public streets and roads.
Which is what you could say a guy was doing New Years Day on (aptly named?) Brandy Creek Road in Warragula when he was clocked doing 170kph (106 mph) in a 100kph zone.
Like the slipstreamer, he was following closely behind a younger driver, someone in his dangerous 30s. The lead driver is 36. The follower, on a winding, 6-meter-wide road, is 78 years old.
Both men have had their licenses suspended, for life, I hope. Both have had their cars impounded (and sold for scrap, I wish). Getting their cars back will cost them $600 each.
Officers said the old f… (excuse me, I almost used a bad word)… the old fellow illustrated the fact that we all think we’re above-average drivers by protested that he is a skilled driver capable of handling such speeds. That ploy got him nowhere, though, as the officer correctly observed that it’s hard to see how anyone can be competent at 170kph on a road with other drivers travelling at normal speeds or less.
The year is young and already Australian policemen have confiscated 42 cars. ABC says they were taken from drivers “across a range of ages.” At the top: a 78-year-old with a death wish, little wisdom, and no evident regard for others.
He calls to mind the story about an old guy who used his cell phone to call his wife as he was driving home from a doctor’s office.
“Oh, I’m so glad to hear your voice,” she said. “I was so worried. The television says there’s some idiot driving the wrong way on the Interstate highway.”
“Some idiot,” he replied. “There are hundreds of them!”
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